Things I Will NOT do to Lestat

1. I will not pretend to be Lestat on Myspace.

2. I will not make Lestat listen to me sing "I Want More"

3. I will not carve my name into Lestat's coffin.

4. I will not under any circumstances ask Lestat if he can sign my bra.

5. I will not pay Louis and Lestat to make out with each other.

6. I will not hide in Lestat's coffin right before dawn.

7. I will not buy Lestat a volvo and give him directions to Edward's house.

8. I will not ask Lestat to eat Edward for breakfast.

9. I will not ask Lestat to put Bella out of her misery.

10. I solemnly swear to NOT sneak up on Lestat while dressed as Akasha.

11. I will not give Lestat a lengthy lecture on the healthy benefits of Spinach.

12. I will not go into Lestat's house while he isn't there and try on his clothes.

13. I will not ask Lestat for an interview.

14. I will not try to teach Lestat and Louis the Macarena.

15. I will not paint Lestat's toenails bright pink.

16. I will not sneak into Lestat's house looking for a lock of his hair.

17. I will not offer my little baggie of Priceless Lestat Hair to Merrick for a million bucks in cash.

18. I will not raid Lestat's shower drain for more "Merchandise"

19. I will not make Marius and Pandora watch Year One.

20. I will not ask Pandora what it is like to be fourteen years older than Jesus.

21. I will not make Marius do my history homework.

22. I will not tape a piece of paper that says "Bite Me" on my back.

23. I will not make Edward and Lestat go into a locked room together just to see who would come out alive.

24. I will not make Lestat and Louis sing "If You Were Gay" So I can put it on YouTube.